The Truth About Being Single – Part Three

In parts 1 and 2 we discussed how each culture is different and ever-changing, but there are some constants which will allow you to make great decisions in building the life God has always dreamed for you. Be sure to check out part one and part two first.

Now, here are 12 Action Points for those ready to begin making their lives all God has dreamed for them:

1. Check the balance in your life. The best way? Ask someone who knows you and will be honest with you about what areas of your life need more balance.
2. Check how well you’re investing in your life as opposed to spending. Consider your finances, your relationships and your life plan. Begin to save money now. If you don’t have a savings account, open one. Even $10 per paycheck will snowball. And don’t just work a job, lay a foundation for your career.
3. Check your focus. If you are too focused, regularly try something different, serve someone outside your norm, do something that isn’t necessarily in your future life plan. Or if you aren’t focused enough, start praying about putting one pursuit (or more) on the backburner, not forever, but to allow yourself the chance to choose the better things you need to be focused on.
4. Chase God more purposefully every day. Don’t neglect spiritual disciplines of church attendance, serving God and those in need, prayer, studying the Bible, etc. Every day you read the Bible you’re investing in the type of spiritual leader you’ll be in your home, your church and your community.
5. Don’t neglect family responsibilities, even right now. The care and attention you give your own parents and your responsibilities toward them will one day produce similar fruit (or weeds) in your relationship with your own kids. The Bible doesn’t require that we agree with our parents but it does require that we honor them.
6. Build your reputation every day as loyal, reliable, dependable, conscientious, selfless, honest, sincere, etc. Don’t break promises. Just don’t. If you do ever have to alter your promises, do so well ahead of time with complete honesty. That includes commitments you make to help someone, attend an event, etc. (Proverbs 22:1)
7. Choose parameters for your behavior – now. How you treat the opposite sex today will impact your marriage later. Your reputation as a single adult will not change just because you get married – and neither will your attitude. “I do” are not magic words that wipe the slate clean and create a new life for you. On that day you will bring all your memories, mistakes and scars into your new marriage. Check out this article from a real life 40-Year-Old-Virgin who is also a pastor. It is titled, “How Can You Live Without Sex?”
8. Choose parameters for friends and relationships. It DOES matter who you choose to allow into your life. (1 Corinthians 15:33)
9. Choose parameters for your lifestyle, places you go, your language, the jokes you tell, the words you use and the tone with which you say them. Everything that is cool is not beneficial. You may have a right to do a lot of things, but some choices will close doors of opportunity for you later in life. (1 Corinthians 10:23)
10. Choose parameters for media you enjoy. You have to admit, some movies, tv shows, songs, etc. are not a good idea for Christian enjoyment. So what are your parameters for making sure your media diet is spiritually healthy? Good points are made in this article, especially #8!
11. A great support for following through on these action points is to follow someone’s blog who is on the same journey as you or has already navigated the same issues you are personally dealing with. It could be a pastor who is a single adult (yep, they are out there) or a Christian leader in an area of passion or gifts that you connect with. If you need help finding them, let me know.

12. Choose wisely, in all things, for the choices you make now will determine much about your future, such as:

• The level of struggle or success you’ll have financially
• Whether you’ll work a job or have a vocation you love
• Whether you’ll be a contributor or a drain on society
• How strong your marriage will be
• What type of parent you’ll be
• Whether you’ll raise children who don’t know God or who follow Him wholeheartedly all the days of their lives

In short, singleness is an extremely important time in your life. Take charge today so you can have a more awesome life tomorrow.

As an epilogue, the next post is about navigating today’s dating landscape as a Christian. Read it if you dare!